I don’t think of my upbringing as outrageously religious. Sure, I was homeschooled and was involved in my church, but I lived in the secular American Northeast and regularly interacted outside the church bubble (playing with the neighborhood kids, joining the local sports leagues, etc). The contrast between environments was conducive to developing a rational worldview: I observed there were multiple ways of living, and could see the benefits/shortcomings of each. To my parents’ credit, they encouraged me to make these judgements for myself. However, I was nonetheless biased towards a religious perspective, and thus subject to some of the associated quirks. Halloween is one such quirk.
Halloween was bad. My family did not celebrate it*. The evening of, my parents would black out the front door windows and turn off all the lights. No dressing up, and no giving out candy to neighbor kids. Periodically we would get a doorbell ring, to which we responded by remaining quiet. Neighbors caught on quickly.
But why was Halloween bad? There were two flavors of responses:
In the local chuch, Halloween involvement varied by family. Some parents let their kids Trick-or-Treat as long as they stayed away from ghoul-ish/witch-ish costumes. The harder-core folks wouldn't acknowledge Halloween in any way. Sometimes, people compromised by hosting a church “Harvest Party” where kids would dress up (innocuously), play games, get candy, etc. Which naturally frustrated the serious anti-Halloween crowd. While I recognized the fuzzy logic at the time, I didn't have a problem with the outcome and naturally developed a distaste for Halloween.
Today, I'm nominally more familiar with the Christian tradition behind Halloween, and the culturally rich practices therein. Also, many fellow Christians have shared positive memories about community-building, playing make believe, and engaging in a reasonably harmless vice (eating candy). My sister (and her seminary-trained husband) encourage their children to partake. But I still feel weird. Why? And should I work to override this ingrained distaste?
As of now, no - because there's minimal reason to. I don't love the ghouls and witch imagery. There's no personally meaningful tradition to harness. And the one conceivable benefit - community-building - can be developed in a bajillion other ways. Not worth the calories to rewire the distaste reflex.
Writing this note because my ambivalence/distaste has been source of a minor tension whilst raising my kid. I recognize my instincts are especially quirky and not even unanimously held within the culture I grew up in. For this reason, I’ll not interfere if/when he wants to celebrate Halloween. For now, it’s a moot point since he doesn’t like dressing up.
*I give my parents credit in that they attempted to make it fun. My mom would make some junk food and we’d watch a movie to pass the time.
**In some (small) corners of the church community, folks argue that we shouldn't recognize Christmas and Easter due to same concerns about pagan influence, but those folks are in the minority. Needless to say, I'm not so concerned about paganism that I endorse their position, either.